The Worst Hip-Hop Song EVER

My vote: Big Daddy Kane's To Be Your Man from the
Long Live the Kane album.

Good God, man - that song is barely listenable. I can't play it
without my flesh instantly erupting in goosebumps.

I'd love to hear some other candidates.

Bus-tradamus

I was listening to my iPod (a/k/a mandatory hipster/hip-hop-ster accessory) on shuffle mode, and Busta's "Against All Odds" from E.L.E. came came up in the rotation. This lyric caught my ear:

None of y'all niggas really wanna war
The type of nigga to crash my plane
in your building in the name of Allah...

That album is from 1999-ish...

Word of the Day

I learned a new word today: steatopygia. It's a word we've all known had to be out there, but just didn't know where to find it. It describes a phenomenon that, thanks to the proliferation of hip hop culture, is becoming more and more accepted by the mainstream. J-Lo, Janet, Beyonce, Kelly Clarkson - they've all got it, to varying degrees. Keith Murray came up with (and Tracy Morgan/Spoonie G popularized) the closest word we have to it in the vernacular: badonkadonk. Well, Keith, I think we need to hear this word in a rhyme, pronto. Check the pronunciation first, though.

G-Unity

This brought a tear to my eye, man... is hip-hop finally growing up? A faint flicker of hope shines true on the horizon...

8 Years

...Look man, you wanna see me locked up, shot up
Moms crouched up over the casket, screamin "BASTARD!"
Cryin, know my friends is lyin'
Y'all know who killed him
filled him
With the Lugers from they Rugers
or they Deserts
Dyin ain't the shit but it's pleasant
Kinda quiet...

- Chris Wallace a/k/a The Notorious B.I.G. - My Downfall

1972 - 1997

Al Sharpton is Throwin' Salt on a Ni**a's Game!

Yo, son, that shit is f**ked up, son. I thought Al was gangsta, yo - but now that ni**a is tryin' to shut ni**as down just because they shoot at bitch-ass ni**as outside radio stations. Allegedly.

I Gets Funky With My Blog

I was just listening to Doggystyle, and was reminded fondly of the Golden Age of hip-hop, when it was common to play around with your tenses in your lyrics:

I packs a strap, like that, I kicks it like this
Now how many bitches must get dick?
Before they say, that daz is that nigga from back in the day
Ya never ever thought I’d see him bustin with dr. dre
Cuz I grips mics, I rips mics in half
Hoes be comin to my flat so I can tap that ass

For All My Niggaz and My Bitches, circa 1993

I think that's technically using the third-person conjugation of the verb ("kicks, gives") with the first-person subject of the sentence. Never mind - rappers have never been famous for their observance of the rules of grammatical composition.

So, anyway, when did we stop saying stuff like "I packs a strap" and "I grips mics"? And what other very-early-90's lyrical devices can you come up with to take me down memory lane?