Suge Knight Shooting: The Cheddar Bob Theory

So... was Suge actually the target of an attempted hit or is he just a dork?

Related Links:

8 Mile
Cheddar Bob

Suge Knight Shot in Miami

Suge Knight, winner of exactly zero popularity contests, was shot in Miami at a party hosted by Kanye West.

I still think 50 Cent has the record for number of times shot, though.

Spoilsport Women Tired of Being Called Hoes

A buncha chicks are sulking about the way they're being portrayed in rap videos and lyrics.

Chopped & Screwed - Help for a Neophyte

The Texas rap scene seems to have been building to a heated climax over the last several years, unbeknownst to East Coast heads like myself. Lately, Texas seems to have ejaculated a full, sticky load all over the surprised face of hip-hop (if you'll pardon the visual). Mike Jones (who?), Paul Wall and his buddy Big Pokey, Slim Thug, Chamillionaire - I had never heard of any of those bastards until at least a month ago; now you can't take a step without falling over something that's been "chopped and screwed."

With that in mind, I thought I'd help out the rest of the uninitiated out there by posting a link to the very helpful Wikipedia entry on the whole phenomenon. Now you can sip your sizzurp with authority, instead of looking like a poser.

Kanye's Bold Move

I may have dissed Kanye West in these very pages some time ago, but I later capitulated (albeit rather grudgingly), and gave him some props. Now, roughly a year or so later, I'm really coming to respect this man - his music has grown and developed beyond sped-up soul samples, and his lyrics seem to be gaining complexity and depth (no, I'm not being sarcastic).

Apart from that, in a could be considered a fairly bold move, 'Ye has extended a plea to the the hip-hop community to stop discriminating against gays. A move like this - one which could call into question his own sexuality, and even excommunicate him from the Most Exalted Church of Hip-Hoppery - requires a whole lot of moxie, and I for one salute him.

NEWS FLASH: Holy Shit - Eminem Does Drugs!

Pardon my snide tone... but is anyone really surprised that Eminem has a drug dependency? Maybe they're just surprised that he actually checked into rehab.

Word-verification for Comments

Sorry - but since I finally experienced "comment spam" on my blog, I've decided to enable word verification. This means, you'll have to take one extra step to post, but at least it means that the 'bots won't be able to put all kinds of crap on my blog.

Bling Bling book

Idexonline.com (the web site of the International Diamond Exchange) reviews Minya Oh's new book Bling Bling.

I like this quote in particular: "But not since Liberace has the world of music seen such an extravagant display of flashy jewelry."

This is interesting, because by having this review on their site, the diamond dealers are acknowledging that rappers (gaudy and materialistic though they may be) are making them rich.

NICOLE KIDMAN - KIDMAN GOES HIP-HOP AT EMINEM CONCERT

Um... I don't know what to make of this... maybe it's after-effects of the whole TomKat thing.

Big Pokey = Really Friggin' Funny

I just saw the Pall Wall's Sittin Sideways video. The reason this made me nearly pee myself, is because in Guyana (and possibly other places in the Caribbean) "pokey" is a slang word that refers to a vagina.

Most Murderous: Welcome to Jam-Rock

Yo, so I just saw Damien Marley's video for Welcome to Jam-Rock and I have to say, I'm terrified. Those are some scary looking bastards, and just serves as a reminder that all the "hard core" rap niggas we have running around the hood up here in NYC ain't got shit on them destitute-ass Jam-Rock boys. I mean, did you see those little kids they panned by? Those kids will stab you, and keep playing marbles like it ain't nothin', son. And the fat chick washing her hair? She's gangsta, and she'll stab you too.

I like this

Some white girls after my own heart.

"Media Chin-Check" Chin-Check

SOHH.com, one of the more reputable hip-hop news sites out there, recently covered a New York Times article [registration required] about two white kids who started a hip-hop magazine called Rap-Up in their Media Chin-Check column.

While the Times' article is mostly about 2 young guys starting a successful magazine while barely in their freshman year of college, SOHH's stance is that white people in hip-hop don't especially deserve to be profiled in the prestigious New York paper, especially when there are minority youths roughly the same age doing roughly the same thing.

I don't really give a shit about any of that. I would, however, like to point out SOHH's egregious grammatical faux-pas:

So why does there mag deserve to be profiled in the NY Times

(emphasis added).

Come on, man. Maybe SOHH.com should "media-check" themselves, and hire those two white kids as editors or proofreaders.

In any case, regardless of the ethnicity of its publishers, or their newsworthiness, I'm sure Rap-Up is a better mag than The Source is these days.

How to Write a Rap Song

Seems like a lot of you "rappers" out there have been following this how-to. According to the info on the bottom of the page, at least 1193 of you thug-niggas are at home or at the public library figuring out your shit on the internet. Well, I won't hold that against you, but at least do as the article says and "make sure that your 'flow' is not whack".

More useful info for burgeoning rappers:
How to Rap. Take not of the all-important Step 4:

Start reading a word of the day calendar to improve your vocabulary, and have a more vast reference to draw from.

8-Mile Part II

Y'all figure out the formula yet?

1. Get record deal
2. Be "controversial" and saturate the media so that even people that don't care about rap know who you are
3. Make a b-movie
4. Sign some of your buddies to your fledgeling record label
5. "Retire"

And speaking of Big Pun...

Rappers' nicknames are funny. Take Big Pun - the shortened form of Big Punisher. To us hip-hop fans, Big Pun, or just "Pun" doesn't even sound weird. But if you just pause for a second and remember that a "pun" is a joke, or a play on words, then Mr. Rios' moniker sounds a little bit retarded.

On the other hand, some of the nicknames like Ice Cube and Ice-T (or as I like to call them "the Ices") have been around for a really long time, and we've gotten used to them.

I think what happens is that when these guys are hanging with their boys, they come up with nicknames, and then they come up with nicknames for the nicknames, and it's all good amongst the crew, but when you become a public figure, you have to remember that the rest of us aren't in on the joke, and it just doesn't work as well. So - Jada, Diddy, Tip, Noyd, Tity Boi, Chingy (which I think is based on a misspelled "chinky"), etc, etc - take a step back and say your rap names out loud, and see if they don't sound just a little bit silly. Memphis Bleek, for one should be ashamed of himself. I don't care how much Hova likes you, you can't go around being a tough guy when your rap name is based on your baby sister's mis-pronunciation of "Malik".

Oh, and a special shout goes to the guys that named themselves after despots, cult leaders, and drug dealers: Kadafi, Jim Jones, Escobar, Nore...

And an extra-special shout to my crew: Ray da Wrecka, P-Schmoove a/k/a Plunky, Mola-D and Vic Love, from your boy Rockports.

Obese Dead Rapper's Memory Lives On Through T-Shirts

It's got to  be every rapper's dream - to have your memory honored by having your mug airbrushed on a $35 t-shirt so that your bereaved wife and kids can eat.

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